Glossary of Terms
General Terms |Terms For People | Terms Used In A Scene | Equipment Terminology | Styles Of Play |
General Terms
Algolagnia - A synonym for Sadomasochism.( See below)
BDSM - An acronym for Bondage , Discipline/Domination, submission/Sadism, Masochism. (Depending on who you are talking to and how they use it.)
B&D - Bondage and Discipline. Refers to the practices of bondage, corporal punishment and D/s role play.
Boundaries - Refers to limits negotiated by both parties prior to a scene or play. Sometimes Dominants push boundaries if the submissive is still receptive at the boundary point.
Collar - (2 definitions) 1. A symbol of ownership/surrender to a specific Dominant to display the transition of a Dominant and submissive's relationship to a higher level. (Many see the collar as a parallel to a vanilla wedding ring.) b. Also used to signify rank in D/s "Houses" (See house below). 2. A form of bondage equipment worn around the neck for bondage play.
Consensual - Activities or behavior agreed to by those involved prior to a scene/play.
Discipline - A form of punishment or a form of training of a submissive/slave. Most forms of B&D or S&M can be used as a discipline tool. It all depends on you!
Fetish - An object or bodily part whose real or fantasized presence is psychologically desired and or necessary for sexual gratification.
Gorean or Gor - Term from a series of books by John Norman. Gor's ( the imaginary planet in these books)slave culture has acquired a lot of attention and followers that implement the fiction into reality of they're every day lives.
Limit - The boundary set by both the parties ( Top/ Bottoms , Dom/sub/slave) during negotiations that set the terms of play.
Masochism - Erotic enjoyment of pain, and humiliation. ( Degrees vary on ones tolerance or personal definition of. Used usually to describe one into heavier pain I.E.: intense floggings, nipple weight torture, etc.)
Negotiation - Conferring with another so as to arrive at the settlement or compromise of some matter.
Nonconsensual - Anything done with out consent by either party.
Pansexual - Exhibiting or implying many forms of sexual expression
Play - Participating in a scene or activity of BDSM, or D/s.
PRICK (Personally Responsible Informed Consensual Kink) - This is the newest term with regard to the safety aspects of BDSM. This means that you take personal responsiblity for being informed about those you are engaging in activities with. You have asked all the questions (what are we doing, how long have you been doing it, how experienced are you doing it, etc) and you give your consent to partake in the activities. Also see RACK & SSC
Pushing Limits - The careful process of expanding ones limits and or Play that comes close to the intolerable.
RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) - This is one of the safety terms used in BDSM. This means you are aware there is risk in every activity that you can partake in and you give your consent to play. Also see SSC & PRICK
S&M (Sadomasochism) - The progressed practices involving the consensual use of pain, humiliation and power exchange for pleasure.
Safe Word - A word or phrase or action given by the submissive/ bottom to stop or reduce the intensity of a scene or play.
Scene - A session of play
SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual) - This was the first term used to describe the safety aspect of BDSM. This states that what is happening is as safe as can be, that the participants are of sound mind and consent to what is happening. Also see RACK & PRICK
Training (term generally used for D/s) - 1. The act of guidance for a "Newbie" to learn the preferred art of submission by a Dominant or Mentor. All Dominants or Mentors have they're own preferences for training, as there are many forms of training. 2. To learn the proper use of toys and body part adaptation for toys. For mutual satisfaction. ( I.e.: anal training, position training,etc.)
Terms For People
Bottom - A person who prefers to receive bondage, training, corporal punishment, etc. but is not necessarily committed to they're Dominant / Top.
Dominant - The person given the control in a agreed to Power exchange relationship.
Edgeplayer - One that constantly pushes or hits limits.
Kajira - Gorean female pleasure/sex slave.
Lifestyler - One who lives a lifestyle supporting ones BDSM ideals and desires.
Master - A title given to one who has conquered or Mastered the submissive. Usually used as a tribute or loving endearment to the Dominant of a submissive. Also been used as a term of possession. ( i.e.: "He is My Master.")
Novice - A person with interest but lacking actual experience. ( AKA Newbie)
S.A.M - A acronym for a Smart Ass Masochist. ( SAMs are known to Top from the Bottom)
Sadist - ( honorable) One who derives pleasure from giving pain, humiliation, or domination to those desiring of it with the respect of limits and safewords.
Slave - (Often used interchangeably with submissive) though considered more one that wants total control.
Submissive - A person that gives up total control of her/his body and behavior for the benefit of not only her Dominant but for her/his own growth.
Switch (Switchable) - A person who enjoys both the dominant and submissive roles. A switch may be dominant to one person and submissive with another or vice versus. Top - a person in the Dominant role.
Vanilla - Not in the BDSM & D/s scene. People considered "Normal" by societies standards. Also can describe function settings. ( munches at a public place etc. )
Terms In A Scene
Bottoming from the Top - A term used when the TOP lets the bottom run the scene for different reasons.
Topping from the bottom - (Commonly referred when speaking of SAMs) when the bottom becomes the aggressor, with or without consent from the Top.
Equipment Terminology
Cup - There are 2 styles of cupping, suction and fire. Both use a cup that is placed on the skin and it sucks the tissue up into the cup. This is an ancient form of Chinese medicine.
Dental Dam - A latex barrier used for oral sex to prevent the transmission of STD's or HIV. (Note: many I have met or known have had no clue to what Dental Dam is let alone used it. It is about a similar sensation to condoms. Most sex toy stores that carry large varieties of condoms also carry Dental Dam)
Enemas - The instrument used for flushing the lower intestine to prepare one for anal play, or because they just like it. (If you are into such Please only do with someone that is knowledgeable in such play.)
Gag - Devices inserted in or over the mouth to muffle sound. ( Effective tool to keep mouthy subbies quiet)
Violet Wand - an electric device that sends sensation through the skin through glass attachments. This item was "borrowed" from cosmetology where it is used for face and scalp massage.
Wurtenbery Wheel - a small metal appliance with very sharp ends that is ran along the skin for sensation. This item was "borrowed" from neurosurgeons.
Styles Of Play
Age Play - A form of role playing to satisfy a fixation/fetish surrounding age play.
Anal Play - Any play concerning the anus/ rectum.
Anal Training - Preparing the anus for anal play.
Anilingus - Anal oral sex. ( See safety tips )
Asphyxiation - Restricting the air/ blood flow by choking to elevate the sensation of orgasm. ( Please See saftey tips)
Blood Sports - A generally S/m practice that results in the drawing of blood by use of cane ( to point of breaking skin), branding, and cutting. ( piercing can also be considered a blood sport ( See piercing below).
Bondage - Using a form of restraint( cuffs, rope, saran wrap, or whatever else used in your imagination) to restrict the bound parties freedom of movement.
Branding - Burning of the skin to produce a scar. Used for ownership generally.
CBT - (Cock and ball torture) - Binding, applying clothes pins, clamps, weights, penis/ball restraints( gates of hell, etc.) to the male genitals.
Catharsis - The purging of emotions/ stress through a scene. ( Might/Might not be intentional)
Cutting - Slicing the skin to make a design, for corporal punishment or for scene play( See blood sports)
Edgeplay - Role play that is at or near the edge of one of the parties limits. Also Refers to activities that have a higher than normal risk to either parties. Not considered something to goof around with. (What is one persons limit is also another persons reward though, so this is more a term to be applied to your own ideals.)
Fisting - Insertion of the entire hand into the vagina or anus.
Golden Shower - Urination on or in the other party. Also used as a humiliation technique.
Humiliation - The use of words and clothing (primarily but other things can be used) to make one feel embarassed or look foolish. This can be a fetish, a style of play or used as punishment.
Infantilism - Role play involving infant type behavior ( diaper wearing, bibs , etc.)
Isolation - A technique of sensory deprivation to render one to feel as though they were left alone.
Mental Bondage - Bound by command instead of physical bindings.
Mummification - Full body bondage, by almost or completely wrapping one in a manner to prohibit movement with saran wrap, spandex, elastic, gauze etc.
Nipple Torture - Stimulation play of the nipples for corporal or erotic pleasure.
Over-The-Knee ( OTK ) - The classic spanking position.
Piercing - To pierce a part of the body to be accompanied by jewelry.
Play piercing - To insert needles into the skin as a part of a scene, many parts may be pierced at the same time, tied together by string and then removed at the end of a scene. Play piercings are often allowed to heal.
Pony Training / Play - Turning a boy/ girl into a "pony" to be ridden, used to pull carts / carriages, or to perform as a well trained horse in obedience. The dress of a Pony boy/girl can include a horse hair tail attached to a butt plug, a bit gag, a bridle and reins. Clothing is at the "Pony" Owners discretion, though usually heels are added to enhance the clicking sound of hoofs.
Position Training - To train a submissive to assume any given position by command or event.
Role Play - The elaboration of ones sexual desire by creating a fantasy structure for them. (I.E.: kidnapping scene, enacting different personas, etc.
Scat - A slang term for scatophilia, taking pleasure in playing with and sometimes eating feces.
Sensory Deprivation - Restricting ones senses for the purpose and enhancement of a scene/ play.
Suspension - A set of techniques for suspending a submissive using ropes, webbing or chain so that no part of the body touches the floor. This is a highly specialized technique and great care must be used to prevent damage.
Tit Torture (TT) - Play involving the breasts.
Verbal Humiliation - The use of verbalizations to excite or humble ones partner. Good when used in a positive manner For the submissive. ( If they like being called a whore or a slut etc.)
Water Sports - Play involving urine or enemas.
Worship - To lavish attention on a part of the body (of another usually) or a role playing attitude toward a Dominant.
